Happy Birthday "Sonny".......My Dad

Happy Birthday Sonny....

Today would have been your 75th Birthday.....and every year since I was a young girl, I would write something for you, a letter, a poem , a drawing...what ever it was, I would fold it up...sit on your lap and put it into your shirts pocket and say...."If I ask you something.....would you say yes?"

So, I couldn't let this year...our first without you, be any different...I had to write something for you....I know, you are reading it as I write it....I know because while I was writing it, I didn't cry...I felt like you were here, reading it, while I was watching your face for your reaction....like always...

Love & miss you more than words can say....

Daddy, This is for you....

"If I asked you something....."

"If I ask you something.....Would you say yes?"
How many times did Celeste & I as children sit on your lap and ask you this...
How many times did you reply "yes", without even knowing what we wanted....
ALWAYS...

How many times did we get what we asked for, whether it was a toy, a gift, a hug, to fix things with mom, school...our lives....
ALWAYS.....

How many times did we as teenagers walk into a room, see you and run to you shouting....
"Sonny!..If I ask you something....Would you say yes?"
ALWAYS....

How many times as adults did we come to you...smile, hug you, kiss your cheek and yes....even sit on your lap and say..."Sonny....If I ask you something....Would you say yes?"
ALWAYS...

How many times did our own children...your grandchildren come to you and say....
"Pampa....If I ask you something.....Would you say yes?"
And How many times did you follow through on your reply of "yes" to all of them...
ALWAYS....

The last couple months....you know...when we didn't yet know, that in just a few short months, you would be gone from our lives...

I came to you...I hugged & kissed you and I said..."Sonny, If ask you something...would..."
You didn't even let me finish....
You said....."NO!"

Dumbstruck....Adult that I was...I blinked back tears and said "BUT WHY???...YOU NEVER SAY NO!..."
You said..."Because...you need to start asking your husband that...your a big girl now....
I got mad for a moment...not being used to being told "NO!" by Daddy :)
And you gave me a hug and said..."What are you going to do when I am gone? Go sit on your husbands lap, SMILE, tell him you love him first...men need to be made to feel important...then very sweetly ask him...
"If I ask you something....Would you say yes...."

Never in my wildest nightmares... did I think...I would have to do this so soon....

This last Sunday...Fathers Day...as I visited your gravesite...Our first of many firsts without you...I closed my eyes and with my heart I asked you..."Sonny...please daddy...If I ask you something...please, please, one last time....Say yes"
I asked you to please let me remember the sound of your laughter...because your voice and the sound of your laughter...are starting to leaving my hearts memory...
The wind kicked up a bit & I wiped my tears...my girls were sitting on your grave, sharing memories of you and suddenly they both started laughing...loud and alot!
I smiled up to you and left you there once again....

Today June 22, is your Birthday....But... I have one wish to ask for from you....Please grant me the strength to one day... be able to watch videos of you...so that I can hear your laughter once more...

And Sonny....I did what you asked.....Chris smiled....and said "yes"

Dad....I Love & miss you more than words can say....Loving you always and a day...your Rose