California Dreamin........

***Before I begin...grazie to all of you for all your beautiful & healing thoughts & prayers for our daughter Ashley & our family...I want to tell you how much they have meant & how powerful your loving thoughts have been... less than 6 weeks after her car accident...w/ a broken pelvis and all...she was walking w/o a walker, crutches or cane & even more incredible... 3 months after her accident...on this day at the beach...she ran towards the waves and let the water engulf her & laughed with such loud & un-abandoned happiness! & all I could do... was look up at the sky & cry silent tears behind my sunglasses as I witnessed how powerful love & prayer can truly be...Grazie from the depth of my heart mis amores! ***


California Dreamin.....

That is how I feel I am living these days......although...the song Hotel California by the Eagles is what was playing on my Ipod as the picture below was taken...But as I sat on the sand and walked along the shore wetting my toes and looking for ocean treasures... Some great tunes were blastin on my Ipod.... some songs I am not sure many of you would smile at...I was also rockin AC/DC, Led Zeppelin and even some Daddy Yankee, Usher and yes even some Andrea Bocelli! Because if you could hear my life's playlist that plays in that lil jukebox in my head...it pretty much is the same as what is on my Ipod...a crazy mix of wonderfulness, In fact the whole time I was writing this long ass'd post... Led Zeppelin's Kashmir was blastin on my Ipod ...Cause yes mis amores......that's how I roll :)

( My youngest Anaissa & I...taken by Ashley, my oldest...from her cell phone!)
Nissa was actually trying to lift me up and toss me in this picture...but instead it looks like she was lovin on her mami :)

As Summer comes to a close...we decided to play hooky on Thursday.... I canceled all my afternoon errands & plans and told my kids to just grab whatever they didn't mind getting wet in & we grabbed some sandwiches from Subways' along with lots of fruits and water and headed out to Dockweiler, a great beach that I spent many a great days of my youth at and that to this day...also, holds such wonderful memories from high school, of bonfires...coolers....M&M's... dancing to wonderful music & hanging out with all my friends... Where did those days go?? Now I am the mami of an almost 20 & 14 yr. old....


I don't know about you...but I ADORE everything that is ocean related, from the waves, sand, salty air, seagulls trying to steal my lunch...even spotting yucky ocean things like jellyfish & sandcrabs :) But... I am also the first to admit to the fact that as much as I LOVE the ocean with a passion....I also HATE it with such....sometimes so much so that I stay away for years at a time and then cry when I think of past memories.... even as I miss it so much.... I can hardly breath from the pain of missing everything about it.....

I grew up in the So Bay in Southern California....& when I tell you that I am a beach girl through & through...I kid you not...yes...I might not fit the mold that comes to mind when one thinks.... Cali beach girl (blond hair, blue eyes) but from the time that I can remember I was at the beach from sun up to sun down all along the So Cal Coast...I knew every beach like the back of my hand in a time when as kids we were allowed to go off & explore all on our own, we had certain times we had to be back by...when the tide came in...lunchtime...when the water started to glisten w/golden colors...dinner...snacks were...you coming back to the cooler as your tummy told you to feed it! Yes those were definitely the days of my most treasured childhood memories....

Until I was 10...I always thought that when my parents said they wanted seafood for dinner....it meant get ready we were off to the beach...cause daddy was going scuba diving to get fresh fish, crabs or lobster and mami was catching fish on her pole or we kids would be diggin for clams....this was my life...until August of 79....when I was 10 & my daddy Bob...my "lil girl daddy" as I often refer to him was killed...after that...the Ocean and I...well to say our relationship changed...would be putting it mildly.....and it was then that I learned that "normal people" when they wanted seafood...either went to the seafood dept at their local grocery store or to a restaurant to fill that cravin......& yes...to me....well that just sucked ;)

Oh, but how I digress...you all really need to keep me on track here...been so long since I did one of my long ass'd posts that I keep going off in my heads lil bank of memories and the thoughts just start flooding out......So now back to this summer day in the here & now...

BTW....all the pictures on this post were taken by my youngest Anaissa with her cell phone camera! As you all know....I HATE having my pictures taken...because some how I ALWAYS come out looking like a total goober...I always threaten anyone w/a camera and as most of you know...everyone now has to post them on their FaceBook....I ask you....WHY?????
Well on this day...I forgot to confiscate their cells lol.....live & learn mami!

So we set up on the sand near the shore.... the kids took off to play in the surf & I began to let myself relax (I always have to take a few breaths and clear my mind when I come to the ocean...it is my own little "thing" I have to do) and enjoy hearing and seeing the airplanes taking off over the ocean from LAX down the road and I am just looking up & feeling the warm sun on my face as the proof shows below... & then later that night....the picture below and all the others, greeted me on my cell...thanks to my daughter Nissa! Thanks mamas :) Had I known when she took them, I more than likely would have made her delete them...smart girl for waiting till I was in bed to send to me ;)

(no...not working the Seks here..as my daughters say...I was just feeling the warm sun on my face)

My nephew Jordan & I walking along the waters edge hunting for ocean treasures for me :) In the far distance ahead of us, you can see a HUGE crane....it was holding a car suspended in the air...they were filming something that afternoon and someone was up in that car for hours! I totally felt for them...whoever they may be...but the crew was really nice....& I never once thought to ask what they were filming lol

Further down on our ocean treasure hunt...I spotted something in the water floating towards me and almost stepped into it a few times...

Below is the little beauty that I almost stepped on...there were alot of jellyfish on the shore that day...

After that exciting encounter...I continued on my merry way...listening to my Ipod, crackberry (blackberry phone) in my hand and keeping sooo many memories at bay in my head...believe it or not...listening to my music helps me with that....alot

Yay me....I found a treasure!! One of many, found by my girls, nephew & me that day! ;) Can you see the cords from my Ipod and it's radio remote all wrapped up with the cord from my blouse..yes...I was a mess...but look closely...you can also see my crackberry....cause...thats how I roll.........

After being completely worn out... from my ocean treasure expedition and eating 1/2 my veggie sandwich...did I mention I have become an accidental vegetarian? Well I have...and I love it along with the cool side effects like shrinking a few sizes and lbs...w/o trying, not to mention my healthier hair & just feeling better all around...who knew???? Not I!

But...this is me after all that excitement...sitting watching the colors of the sand and water changing to the beautiful hues of golds and bronzes as the sun is beginning to set....And I am all at once....feeling a little ill at ease and yet strangely at peace & giving tearful thanks for all that I was witness to on this day.....

(the wind kept pushing my cow boy hat up, after awhile...I just gave up...)

This was the beauty... that we spent an afternoon in anticipation of....so worth it! I am hoping I get to come back again soon and watch...and not have to wait so long in between my visits...because I don't know which pains me more...coming and remembering.....or staying away and missing this.......

Well mis amores.....this lil (stop laughing June :) post was a preshow to what is to come...see a while back I had written a story about some of my childhood memories of the ocean, its beautiful treasures & my dad Bob...and then almost a year ago while visiting my dear friend Nancy of the ever so beautiful blog...Fete et Fleur...well she had posted about a beautiful tiny little mermaid crown that she had made and well....I have to tell you, that......I had fallen in love with it so hard & completely...that my eyes watered from the memories it conjured up in my heart & mind.... Stay tuned for the outcome of that lil story! Grazie Nancy...because everytime I walk by my lil treasure... my heart skips a beat & I am once again...in my hearts eye....daddy's lil girl, walking on the beach behind him, forever his shadow....


Well until next time my dear friends......

OH My Stars.....Can it be?????

Yes...mis amores....I am back!!

How was that for a warning ;) No truly mis amores...I am finally back...thru all of lives traumas, trials & tribulations and just losing myself for awhile there...I am back... I am still working on me, trying to be ok with all that is going on in life but I realized something...you all in our beautiful blogging community have held me together with love & support when I needed it the most...and as bad as things have been in my imperfect life...I know I am not the only one going thru lifes trials...to those of you who are going through your own difficulties and heartbreaks...I send you my prayers and support...know that as I can, I will be visiting you all and catching up with you & your beautiful blogs & postings...I truly hope I don't overwhelm you as I start commenting on a couple or a bunch of your wonderful posts that I have missed :)The lap top is fixed as of this evening...so I can finally start posting & visiting everyone again, since all of my blogging treasures, pictures, favorite blogs lists were all on it, I really need to learn how to put these things on one of those lil doo hickies that I can take every where with me! :)...ohhh how I have missed you all! And for all of you that were so wonderful to have written me the loveliest emails...I received them, but wasn't able to reply due to a bad virus on our desktop computer that my amor was worried I would send to you all and infect your own...but now that issue is cleaned up and in the next couple of days so many will be hearing from me again.... Grazie from my heart...for your love & friendship, it has truly meant the world...

Dawn, Lisa, Rebecca, Nancy and so many others....Grazie for never giving up on me :) Besos & huge hugs to you all!

I truly hope to reconnect with you all...I can't tell you how hard it was when I felt that I was losing my way...not only in life but with the things that I so enjoyed & loved...it really made me panic when I would go into my studio and look at all my wonderful treasures and feel nothing...when the things that bring us so much joy no longer make us smile...it is time to ask why...and I did....I am still working on that...as I start to go through my things and sort them, I am finding that lil old and tattered bebe shoes and clothing still make make me sigh....that is a good sign right???? :)

P.S. Grazie to all my new friends & followers, such a wonderful surprise to see you all :)

Until next time my dear friends,