Sunday, July 19, 2009

Life...Death...Birthdays and a quick hello

Hi everyone, sorry I haven't been posting, life as usual has a way of getting in the way when your busy making plans :) I haven't really gotten a chance to post, been running around doing errands, spending time with my girls who are on vacation and are always "bored" :) Visiting my mom and just trying to get her thru some hard days. She hurt her back yesterday, just doing something so simple as streching to reach something but it was bad enough that she was barely moving and having a hard time just catching her breath, so as soon as I saw her, I rushed her to get adjusted and although sore, she is at least able to move a bit better. Hopefully in a few days she will be good as new!

We got sad news yesterday of a loved ones passing, so the next few days will be busy with the arrangements and everything that goes with it. The dear lady we just lost, was a lovely woman with a huge heart, she could be tough and said what she felt, she was, I liked to say the female version of my dad :) She could make you smile or laugh or cut you to the quick with her wit just like my dad lol (Hey they earnd that right to say what they felt no matter what anyone thought :) But she was truly a dear heart, always with a ready smile and she will be greatly missed by all those that were lucky enough to have known her. As soon as I get permission from my aunt, I will post a picture and a lil tribute to her :)

Today is my Abuelitas birthday, she would have been 95 years young, goodness I can't believe how it hurts to breath just writing that :) She is missed everyday but I can now smile when I think of her, because she was such an amazing woman and led such a full life filled with the love, respect and the admiration of sooo many family and friends. I will have to do a post soon about her amazing life. To say she was loved sometimes feels like an understatement. My abuelita was my mamas mama, my "Ita" and our large familys matriarch and heart. "Happy Birthday Ita!" we miss you and your precious always smiling baby blues!!

So for now that is all dear friends and Dawn, I haven't had a chance to speak to you, but it goes without saying, I send you and your family everything good that is in me and my heart that your dad is well, because he will be, with an amazing, loving daughter like you, he has to be around for years and years to spend time with you, all his beautiful grandchildren and loved ones and most importantly to teach baby Clara all the wonderful things he taught you :)

Now off to eat some pink cotton candy, cause Mr Wonderful doesn't know how to appreciate a sticky keyboard lol till the next post dear friends......


Saturday, July 4, 2009



Sonny this is for your and all the men and woman out there fighting for the freedom that we all so cherish .


Since I was a young girl our dad "Sonny" and I loved Loretta Lynn and Conway Twitty, especially this song God Bless America Again. I thought it rather poignant at this difficult time our Country and many of us are going thru right now. We hope everyone has a beautiful and safe 4th!

Sonny, heres our song...


God bless America again You see all the trouble that she's in Wash her pretty face, dry her eyes and then God bless America again

(Recitation)Dear God, I sure do wish you could bless America again Well, you know, just like they did way back when it all began you know, you surely blessed it once and we just took it for granted and never bothered to ask again So just hold her hand God, that's all And if she should stumble, Please don't let her fall

God bless America again You see all the trouble that she's in Wash her pretty face, dry her eyes and then God bless America again

(Recitation) You know God, Theres so much I don't understand About what I read and hear is wrong in America But I suppose if you don't have a lot of learnin'There's so much you can't understand Ahh but let me say this God she's like a mother to me And everything I am or ever hope to be I owe it to You and to her

(Abbreviated chorus) Wash her pretty face, dry her eyes and then God bless America again

I can almost here Sonny singing along with my whisper as I sing this to myself.


Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Egg Salad Sandwiches

Comfort food, ohhh how I love thee :) I can make some yummy comfort foods like homemade baked mac n cheese, cookies, different pasta dishes, spanish rice, Mexican and Italian dishes that I know make my family feel good, but the funny thing is that alot of these pasta dishes I can't eat lol I actually get the comfort from making them and seeing how those I love enjoy them. So I never thought that egg salad sandwiches would be added into this category! But somehow they now are :)

Like I was telling you in my last post, we lost our dad March 14 and it has been tough, he died of lung cancer. We had him for ONLY 3 weeks from the time we found out what he had. I still get so angry thinking about it and the pain is sometimes so bad that it hurts to breath when I think of all the loss we have had in our lives in less than 3 years, but with the help of some much loved people in my life I am dealing with it as best as we all can. One of my best friends in all the world Debbie, was going thru the same thing, her mother had it too, we lost her lovliness almost 1 1/2 weeks before we lost my dad and god bless her because even in her heartbreak Debbie was still there for me, helping me with what was coming, telling me truly how bad it was gonna be and while you might think why do that? I am so greatful that she did because I was better able to prepare myself and more importanly my loved ones. So you ask where does the egg salad sandwhiches play in this? Well let me tell you......

One of my dearest friends, Renie, my neighbor from across the street had been trying for 15 years to have a baby, they finally got pregnant last year but sadly lost the baby after 6 weeks. But God was listening to them and their heartbreak, because they now have a beautiful lil baby girl named Andrea that is so delicious it hurts when I have to give her back when it is time to go home after I visit :) When I came home from visiting my mom, like I do everyday, Renie was sitting on her porch and yelled for me to come over and visit a min. before I went inside my home. To be honest with all the pain we are still dealing with, a few minutes with that gorgeous baby smiling was my "comfort" that I needed. When I went over, the first thing she asked me was how we all were, was my mom doing a bit better? After replying to her, you could just about knock me over when she dropped this next question on me. She said " How bad did it really get for your dad that last week when we never saw you here at the house? You guys were always at your parents so I couldn't ask you." My eyes welled up, but I kept my tears in check and I told her most of it, but not the worst parts because I am not ready to think about that yet. She said I need you to tell me all of it, I need to know, she hugged her lil one, bent her head and started to cry. She told me they just found out her dad has cancer in his liver. I felt the air knocked out of me and I just hugged her and we held onto each other for dear life and cried. What else can you do or say? I tried to tell her that what happend to my dad, might never happen to hers, that every cancer is different as is the person going thru it and what their experience will be. She didn't buy it, she still wanted to know and as bad as it was, I remembered how my dear friend Debbie shared her heartbreak with me and how even though the thought of my dad possibly going thru that scared the hell out of me, it made me feel better knowing I wasn't alone going thru this, that someone I loved understood what I was feeling and going I told her what that last week was like and we cried some more, the tears were for my dads pain, for mine, her fathers and her. I felt better after that but still hurt for her knowing what she might be in for. She told me she was leaving for Mexico for a whole month to be with her parents and that she wanted her dad to know her lil angel before it was too late. I was sad that she was leaving but glad she had the chance to be with her loved ones at this time.

She just left this past friday and the morning she was getting ready she called and said "Can you do me a favor?" Anything I replied. "Can you make us some of your delish egg salad sandwiches for our trip?" now you have to understand, there is NOTHING special about my recipe, just hard boiled eggs, salt n pepper and butta on soft white bread. But hey if that is what she wanted then so be it. Later that evening my hushand and I went over there to wish them well and to let them know we were here if they needed ANYTHING, even just to talk, they could call at any hour. Our husbands joked while we stepped away from them. I held baby Andrea and just took in all her beauty. I inhaled that wonderful "new baby" scent that I just so adore for all its worth and we hugged, no tears, we got those out of the way that sad day. But we laughed so hard we cried when she said " Thanks for the egg salad sandwiches, I was sooo craving them, they taste so good and when I am eating them at 1 in the morning before our flight and I feel like crying, I will feel better because I know you made them for me and they will taste soo good I will feel better, like chocolate helps you!" ( You have to understand that in My world Chocolate makes EVERYTHING better lol) and hence egg salad sandwiches are now part of the comfort foods in our house :)

Woohoo I am back!

Wow, I can't believe how much I missed being without our computer! I couldn't visit any of my favorite blogs and just take in all the inspirational beauty (eye candy) I love reading all the posts and seeing what everyone is up to, not just creating but in their lives. You know when Dawn first told me about all the different wonderful ways you can use your blog, I especially loved the journal part. I have always kept a journal since I was a lil girl, a trait I have passed onto my daughters. When my oldest was only 3 yrs. old she kept a journal lol it was all jibberish that she wrote, but she could "read" to you what she had on each page and tell you about her "secrets" and not only that but, she could go back thru the pages and give you the same stories about it that she originally told you, she didn't mix them up, so apparently what was gibberish to us, was common sense to her! I remember her getting so upset when we pretended to read what we thought she had wrote and she would correct us and ask "don'tcha know how to wead?" When she "learned" to write, she did so in her own way lol She would write backwards really fast like we write 'normal" and could still tell you what she wrote quickly! I had to use a mirror to read her secrets, I know a 5 yr old with secrets lol But she did have them like putting a small box full of rolly pollys in her bed so that they wouldn't get cold, lol I remember running up to her room and screaming when I found her writtings were true! lol Now I would give anything for those days of innocence, she is 18 now, knows EVERYTHING, just graduated from High School and getting ready for college. My stars where did the time go????

Anyways sorry for rambling, getting back to Blogs :) I love how honest so many of you are, sharing your life's moments with all of us. It truly makes me feel good reading them because it reminds me that we are not alone, going thru whatever we are going thru in our own lives good or bad. We are not alone. When I read the sadness such as posts of a loved one passing, I cry with you. We lost our dad on March 14, and when he left us, everyone told me be strong! Don't cry in front of your mom or sister, be strong for them, they need you, you are the oldest, you have to take care of them now. But you know what? I forgot to take care of myself too. I didn't cry. I made myself so busy that I didn't let myself feel what I needed to. I have 3 older brothers, but the eldest is in Texas and he along with the other 2 have their own lives and were dealing with their own grief of losing their dad, so here it was just my mama, my younger sister and me. So late at night when everyone was sleeping and I was visiting all your blogs, when one of you posted of the loss of someone in your lives, from just reading it, I cried for your sadness because it mirrored mine, I guess in my mind I wasn't crying for me, so it was ok. But let me tell you it helped....alot. When you all write about the wonderful moments going on, I am excited right along with you. When you are venting about someone borrowing (stealing) your pictures or art work ideas, I am upset right along with you. When you write about funny moments I sometimes have to remind myself that it is after 1 in the morning and I have to watch how loud I am laughing :) So you see without realizing it, you all matter, everything you write, create and share is much, much appreciated! When you don't post for awhile because life gets in the way and you think, does anyone really care? I have nothing interesting to say or share, it does matter, because you matter :) When someone enjoys visiting your blog, they become your "friend" you become important, because you are now apart of their world! Wooo, did I just say all that? I only meant to tell you how much I missed being off line those few days lol.

Well I am gonna write a few more quick posts that were in my head when I couldn't get online :) so sorry for the huge deluge lol I promise after these posts the rest will have pictures too. So everyone remember to just take a moment to stop.........breath..........and just smile :)