My name is Rose and I am so blessed to be Mami to 2 beautiful daughters that think I am old as dirt :) but love me anyways and I have a lil maltese named Lola or as we lovingly call her "Pudge" Did I mention her greatest aspiration is to be a rotweiler when she grows up :) I love the process of creating, always have, but somewhere along the way art took a backseat to life, Thanks to all the wonderful ladies whos Blogs I have been lucky enough to discover, I have rediscovered the love of art and creating that I had been missing for so long. I love anything and everything beautiful. The older and more tarnished it is the more I love it. I love old lace,vintage sewing items, anything with roses, beautiful hand made items and soo much more, it would take another blog just to list :)
Ahhhh My Bellas, I have some lovely Giveaway love to share with you...cause your my peeps and all :) But you have to hurry the first one ends TONIGHT at MIDNIGHT!!!...I know...sorry, but since I have been awol...I am just getting back into the swing of things....but I love you all so much I still wanted to share & make sure you all had a chance....even though I bet most of you already entered! :)
Ok mis amores here is the important info!
First....The ever so sweet & lovely Debra of Common Ground is having a French Inspired 1 Year Anniversary Give Away... But RUN.!!!!! It ends TONIGHT AT MIDNIGHT!!!!
Today would have been your 75th Birthday.....and every year since I was a young girl, I would write something for you, a letter, a poem , a drawing...what ever it was, I would fold it up...sit on your lap and put it into your shirts pocket and say...."If I ask you something.....would you say yes?"
So, I couldn't let this year...our first without you, be any different...I had to write something for you....I know, you are reading it as I write it....I know because while I was writing it, I didn't cry...I felt like you were here, reading it, while I was watching your face for your reaction....like always...
Love & miss you more than words can say....
Daddy, This is for you....
"If I asked you something....."
"If I ask you something.....Would you say yes?" How many times did Celeste & I as children sit on your lap and ask you this... How many times did you reply "yes", without even knowing what we wanted.... ALWAYS...
How many times did we get what we asked for, whether it was a toy, a gift, a hug, to fix things with mom, school...our lives.... ALWAYS.....
How many times did we as teenagers walk into a room, see you and run to you shouting.... "Sonny!..If I ask you something....Would you say yes?" ALWAYS....
How many times as adults did we come to you...smile, hug you, kiss your cheek and yes....even sit on your lap and say..."Sonny....If I ask you something....Would you say yes?" ALWAYS...
How many times did our own children...your grandchildren come to you and say.... "Pampa....If I ask you something.....Would you say yes?" And How many times did you follow through on your reply of "yes" to all of them... ALWAYS....
The last couple months....you know...when we didn't yet know, that in just a few short months, you would be gone from our lives...
I came to you...I hugged & kissed you and I said..."Sonny, If ask you something...would..." You didn't even let me finish.... You said....."NO!"
Dumbstruck....Adult that I was...I blinked back tears and said "BUT WHY???...YOU NEVER SAY NO!..." You said..."Because...you need to start asking your husband that...your a big girl now.... I got mad for a moment...not being used to being told "NO!" by Daddy :) And you gave me a hug and said..."What are you going to do when I am gone? Go sit on your husbands lap, SMILE, tell him you love him first...men need to be made to feel important...then very sweetly ask him... "If I ask you something....Would you say yes...."
Never in my wildest nightmares... did I think...I would have to do this so soon....
This last Sunday...Fathers Day...as I visited your gravesite...Our first of many firsts without you...I closed my eyes and with my heart I asked you..."Sonny...please daddy...If I ask you something...please, please, one last time....Say yes" I asked you to please let me remember the sound of your laughter...because your voice and the sound of your laughter...are starting to leaving my hearts memory... The wind kicked up a bit & I wiped my tears...my girls were sitting on your grave, sharing memories of you and suddenly they both started laughing...loud and alot! I smiled up to you and left you there once again....
Today June 22, is your Birthday....But... I have one wish to ask for from you....Please grant me the strength to one day... be able to watch videos of you...so that I can hear your laughter once more...
And Sonny....I did what you asked.....Chris smiled....and said "yes"
Dad....I Love & miss you more than words can say....Loving you always and a day...your Rose
**6/11/10....I have to tell you, I had a beautiful long post....but I guess I have been away from blogging for so long that I thought I was moving a picture down and proceeded to erase the whole thing! My tears from writing it were dry...now I have fresh tears of frustration :) So I am redoing this shorter one...I hope you all understand and can forgive me...becausetimeis something I don't have a lot of these days...Hoping that will change soon :) **6/16/10.... But call me crazy...but because I love y'all so much...I am willing to give this one more try... :) Healing Grace....that is what all your thoughts, prayers and good wishes, phone calls, emails, visits have meant to me and our family.....That is what all of your wonderful prayers and thoughts have done for me personally.....they have been my families and my own Healing Grace.....how can we, ever thank you . I thank you all from the depths of my heart and soul for not only your beautiful thoughts from my last post...but for the enormous amount of love, thoughts & prayers that so many of you have sent to us these last couple of weeks, through posting about it on your own blogs, emails, phone calls and posting on my FaceBook page, I can't begin to tell you how full our hearts are as a family with all the love support and strength that we have gotten from all of you...... As some of you know, the tragedy that struck our family on May 21, at 2 a.m. when our oldest daughter Ashley was in a horrific car accident caused by the stupidity of a drunk driver.... has at the moment turned our lives upside down..
The driver T-boned our daughters boyfriends car, thank God, he was ok, but our daughter is currently recovering at her grandmas house from a broken pelvis, it is broken in various places and there is no cast, no brace...nothing, she just has to lay, sit, rest and heal...Because if she is not careful she can make it worse and possibly need surgery....she is 19 years old, was supposed to start her first job that Thursday, had her college class finals that week and was to start her summer classes...needless to say....none of those things are done at the moment...Her hopes and plans are to become a pediatric nurse, so that she can help and be with bebes and children, to give them comfort and help them heal, these are her words....These plans are all on hold for now....as sad as this is....I don't mind....not one iota...Because after we saw the pictures of the car she was in, with the passenger side almost completely gone..we know how blessed we are that she is here to continue to love and cherish her and our lives with her....don't get me wrong, when this first happened and I saw my child looking so little, mangled, bruised, battered and broken, laying in her hospital bed...I felt such a tremendous amount of hate for that drunk driver that I actually got physically ill for a couple of days.....I lost 10 lbs in 4 days...I slept maybe 12 hours...I would smile while I was with her and panic each time she tried to move....but I didn't cry in front of her....no....there was enough time to cry when I was home alone....then I could fall apart....and I will tell you something....reading all your emails, comments and talking to so many of you on the phone...lifted my spirits like you wouldn't believe....
See.....the man that cause my daughters accident...well when it first happened, I wanted him, in pain, mangled...yes I will admit it as ugly as it is to say it, it is even worse to feel it, but I wanted him dead....then I thought about how we all felt seeing our lil Ashley in the hospital and seeing her in pain and then I started to think of how his family must be feeling, was he young, married, did he have kids.....all I knew was the fact that he was someone's child....and that his parents must be feeling such immense pain, heartbreak and anguish over their own child.....see, the officers that were investigating the accident.... came to see our daughter and told her, that the man that hit her would never be a problem again....see....turns out....after he almost killed our daughter and her boyfriend, he proceeded to flee the scene....only to lead police on a high speed chase that was televised on the news and as I would later find out, viewed by many that know us....but at that moment, no one knew our Ashley was involved....well he proceeded to lose control of his car and crashed it on the freeway...from what the officers said....he broke his neck and is paralyzed from the neck down.....Justice??? I don't know...I only know that I feel like it is such a stupid waste of life because had he just stayed....his own life would be so much different....I try to forgive and ask God to give me the strength to do so....but I won't lie...it is hard...hard because my daughter is recovering at her grandmas home.....not ours, we have a 2 story house...doesn't work well in the recovery of a broken pelvis....our lives are soo drastically altered at the moment that I hope and pray for things to return to normal soon...but honestly at the end of every day when I feel over whelmed and discombobulated ( love this word ;) I remind myself that Ashley is can move around, it is limited but she can move, in time she will walk with out her walker, her crutches will be her main mode of transportation and the wheelchair will sit in storage one day when it is no longer needed...but the most wonderful thing of all is the KNOWING that our child will one day again...walk on her own and God-willing will run on the beach again...like she so loves to do and embrace the ocean waves that give her so much joy and laughter....laughter that I so miss hearing from her lately....
So now that I have updated everyone...I truly hope that you understand that if I don't make it personally to each of your blogs or email to let you know how much your thoughts and prayers have meant to us...it is only because at this moment, time isn't on our side....but I am hoping that with school being out this week and only having to go between our "2 households" I will have a lil more time to start visiting everyone again and leaving my comments...cause....well.....I know how much my opinion matters **wink** But know that I have when I can visited many of you, I just didn't leave a comment...sometimes there is just no time and other times, I am just so drained emotionally that I can't put my words into sentences that make sense...I hope you all understand and I am also hoping with this post...that after this long self & life imposed hiatus...that I haven't been forgotten by our wonderful Blogland that we all love so much, because I promise....I haven't forgot you....I miss you all tons and tons :) Much love to you all my amores...and know that you all mean so much to me and my family and that your support and love has kept our hopes and hearts afloat!
Ashley w/her cousin Alan Dawn, Lisa,Rebecca, June,Lovey, Fairmaiden, your calls, emails and support...kept my head above water and kept me from the dispair, depression and fear of not being able to rise up once again from my knees...I thank you from my heart....because you listened, you gave me strength and you will never know just how much I held on to you for fear of drowning in dispair when I felt so alone and lost....I don't know how I will ever thank you all...love, love love you! Those that I didn't personally thank on here...please know it wasn't from forgetfulness, but because I would have to do a whole other post and right now...I am just so emotionally drained after doin this long assed post :) Much, much love to you all!!
One more thing....Kate...I am thinking and praying for you and your mami amor...I send you huge healing besos & hugs!! Anne, I am so thankful that all our prayers for you have been answered...I have tried so many times to call you amor, please call me anytime, I want to hear your beautiful voice...I think it would make my heart smile :) Thinking of you...Love you both :)
Until next time my dear friends....my amores......
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