Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Happy Birthday "Sonny".......My Dad


Happy Birthday Sonny....

Today would have been your 75th Birthday.....and every year since I was a young girl, I would write something for you, a letter, a poem , a drawing...what ever it was, I would fold it up...sit on your lap and put it into your shirts pocket and say...."If I ask you something.....would you say yes?"

So, I couldn't let this year...our first without you, be any different...I had to write something for you....I know, you are reading it as I write it....I know because while I was writing it, I didn't cry...I felt like you were here, reading it, while I was watching your face for your reaction....like always...

Love & miss you more than words can say....

Daddy, This is for you....


"If I asked you something....."

"If I ask you something.....Would you say yes?"
How many times did Celeste & I as children sit on your lap and ask you this...
How many times did you reply "yes", without even knowing what we wanted....
ALWAYS...

How many times did we get what we asked for, whether it was a toy, a gift, a hug, to fix things with mom, school...our lives....
ALWAYS.....

How many times did we as teenagers walk into a room, see you and run to you shouting....
"Sonny!..If I ask you something....Would you say yes?"
ALWAYS....

How many times as adults did we come to you...smile, hug you, kiss your cheek and yes....even sit on your lap and say..."Sonny....If I ask you something....Would you say yes?"
ALWAYS...

How many times did our own children...your grandchildren come to you and say....
"Pampa....If I ask you something.....Would you say yes?"
And How many times did you follow through on your reply of "yes" to all of them...
ALWAYS....

The last couple months....you know...when we didn't yet know, that in just a few short months, you would be gone from our lives...

I came to you...I hugged & kissed you and I said..."Sonny, If ask you something...would..."
You didn't even let me finish....
You said....."NO!"

Dumbstruck....Adult that I was...I blinked back tears and said "BUT WHY???...YOU NEVER SAY NO!..."
You said..."Because...you need to start asking your husband that...your a big girl now....
I got mad for a moment...not being used to being told "NO!" by Daddy :)
And you gave me a hug and said..."What are you going to do when I am gone? Go sit on your husbands lap, SMILE, tell him you love him first...men need to be made to feel important...then very sweetly ask him...
"If I ask you something....Would you say yes...."

Never in my wildest nightmares... did I think...I would have to do this so soon....

This last Sunday...Fathers Day...as I visited your gravesite...Our first of many firsts without you...I closed my eyes and with my heart I asked you..."Sonny...please daddy...If I ask you something...please, please, one last time....Say yes"
I asked you to please let me remember the sound of your laughter...because your voice and the sound of your laughter...are starting to leaving my hearts memory...
The wind kicked up a bit & I wiped my tears...my girls were sitting on your grave, sharing memories of you and suddenly they both started laughing...loud and alot!
I smiled up to you and left you there once again....

Today June 22, is your Birthday....But... I have one wish to ask for from you....Please grant me the strength to one day... be able to watch videos of you...so that I can hear your laughter once more...

And Sonny....I did what you asked.....Chris smiled....and said "yes"

Dad....I Love & miss you more than words can say....Loving you always and a day...your Rose


22 comments:

Lovey said...

Blessings Sweet Rose...Blessings my friend.

Diva Kreszl said...

such a sweet, lovely tribute to your very special dad...how very wise he was too! you were blessed to have such a special man in your life and it seems you are blessed to have your husban das well.

Privet and Holly said...

Rose, I absolutely feel your love, your pain, your smiles, your laughter and tears. This is a beautiful tribute to a beautiful man. Like you asked your dad, I hope that one day you will be able to watch your dad on video and smile! xx Suzanne

Jodie (everything vintage) said...

oh Rose,
This was the most beautiful post I've ever read.
You have the biggest heart I know. Right now, it is filled with so much love and loss but it is certainly not empty by any means.
You are such a passionate person...I can feel it through your words.
You are blessed my girl...you are truly blessed to have so many wonderful memories with Sonny :)
Hugs to you Rose~

Dorthe said...

Dearest Rose,
this post is just so beautifull,
thanks for sharing your beautifull tribute to your father,with us.
Blessings, and hugs Dorthe

Deborah said...

Rose..

Love, hugs and tears from my heart to yours
Your tender heart-felt words brought tears but also a sweet joy knowing that you had such a beautiful relationship with your Dad...theres no one quite like a father in our lives.
My Dad turned 80 in April and I love him so dearly too.
May you feel Gods arms wrapped around you saying "yes" my daughter ...
Thinking of you and sending love and tender, warm hugs your way.

With all my heart..Deborah xoxoxo

LiLi M. said...

Beautiful post Rose, straight from the heart, what a great tribute to a wonderful man. Alas I can share your feelings, my father (and so is my mother) isn't with us anymore too. But with these tributes we keep them alive, we have this proverb: 'you are not dead until nobody ever talks about you', so with this post you keep your father alive, so to speak. Very well done Rose!

Sorry I didn't visit you any sooner. We had a huge graduation party for my daughter and when that was over I kinda collapsed and I had to sleep for about 2 days before I could get up on my feet again. Here I am alive and kicking and telling you that I'm happy to see you back in blogland!

Rebecca said...

Dear Rose
The past 2 weeks we share the same heart as this is the second father's day I am without my father and his birthday is the week before father's day, he would have been 85. I miss him as you miss yours. Your tribute to your father was so touching and I am sitting here at work with tears running down my face and no make up now... but thank you for the words I didn't write but went straight to my heart.
Before my father died he shook his crooked finger at me and ssid "don't you cry after I am gone... I will be with my Heavenly Father. and I said but dad I will because I will miss you and he said with a smile, "you're not that far behind me. This time on earth is so fleeting - that in a blink of an eye we will all be with our father's and Heavenly Father forever.
Many Blessings to you sweet Rose
Rebecca

fairmaiden said...

The separation is the hardest part. When our loved ones pass away, we who are left are the ones in pain...missing and longing for them. But you will be together again with your beloved Daddy. Carry his love and goodness inside you and keep giving that happiness to others. love you ox

bikim said...

grogeous sweet post!
Happy birthday to your dad!
Rosa

Sandi said...

Oh sweet Rose, I am so sorry your daddy is gone. My dad turned 77 this year and has been in the hospital twice...I am not ready to lose him, but then we never are. Girls and their daddys have a special bond. I can't imagine my life ever without him, but he is ready whenever God chooses to take him home and I rest in that assurance.
My youngest son shares your daddys birthday. He turned 26 this year...where have the years gone?
Love your poem...from a daughter who I can tell was dearly loved by her father.
So glad you are back in blogland too!!
Hugs~

Draffin Bears said...

Dear sweet Rose,

With each passing day, it does not get any easier, does it.
A few weeks back, we visited my Dad's headstone and it is times like this it is so hard.
What a beautiful tribute to your dear Dad and I love the letter you wrote him.
Many blessings and hugs to you and your family, dear friend.

Hugs
Carolyn

T's Daily Treasures said...

Dear Rose, this is truly the most beautiful post I have ever read. It was so wonderfully touching and brought me to tears. Your posts are always written straight from your heart. Sending many blessings and best wishes your way, Tammy

rose said...

my computer has been sick so i just saw your post. i wrote a belated fathers day post today. although it's been years that my dad died i still had to cry. i don't do this all of the time. it's ok to feel the loss but to remember the life we gained from this loss.

AlaynaGainer1姿吟 said...

Pen and ink is wits plough. ....................................................................

cityfarmer said...

Rose,
I have not traveled this road yet ...
Bless you and your love for your daddy ...

Your family is in my pryaers

paperbird said...

I know you must miss your father so much- it is evident you have a deep love for your family and friends. I have been a bit busy and have missed your posts....summer is just not supposed to be this way! Take care and have a lovely day. I will email you soon.

DeeDee said...

Hi Rose..this is a lovley tribute...

and thanks for visiting me today...I have had a direct link to your blog for a good while now...I just love all things rose....please stop by anytime the door is always open...

DeeDee
http://deedeescraftspot.blogspot.com

Kate said...

Rose,
This was beautiful and touching actually I was so emotional while reading it. I never knew my dad and I always wonder what life would have been like if I did. I am so heart broken for your loss, but so happy that you have such a bond of love with him. Bless your heart always my dear friend.

Love you
Kate

亦妮 said...

生存乃是不斷地在內心與靈魂交戰;寫作是坐著審判自己。......................................................................

Sharon said...

This is one of the most beautiful things I have ever read. I lost my son almost five years and know the loneliness for their laughter and voice and to just hear them laugh one more time. Thank you for what you wrote.

Rebecca said...

Hey Rose!
How is everything? Are you still with us?
I will email you later, hope all is well sweetie!
ttys
Have a wonderful Sunday
Blessings
Rebecca