Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Healing Grace....and the power of wonderful friends....

**6/11/10....I have to tell you, I had a beautiful long post....but I guess I have been away from blogging for so long that I thought I was moving a picture down and proceeded to erase the whole thing! My tears from writing it were dry...now I have fresh tears of frustration :) So I am redoing this shorter one...I hope you all understand and can forgive me...because time is something I don't have a lot of these days...Hoping that will change soon :) **6/16/10.... But call me crazy...but because I love y'all so much...I am willing to give this one more try... :)

Healing Grace....that is what all your thoughts, prayers and good wishes, phone calls, emails, visits have meant to me and our family.....
That is what all of your wonderful prayers and thoughts have done for me personally.....they have been my families and my own Healing Grace..... how can we, ever thank you .

I thank you all from the depths of my heart and soul for not only your beautiful thoughts from my last post...but for the enormous amount of love, thoughts & prayers that so many of you have sent to us these last couple of weeks, through posting about it on your own blogs, emails, phone calls and posting on my FaceBook page, I can't begin to tell you how full our hearts are as a family with all the love support and strength that we have gotten from all of you...... As some of you know, the tragedy that struck our family on May 21, at 2 a.m. when our oldest daughter Ashley was in a horrific car accident caused by the stupidity of a drunk driver.... has at the moment turned our lives upside down..

The driver T-boned our daughters boyfriends car, thank God, he was ok, but our daughter is currently recovering at her grandmas house from a broken pelvis, it is broken in various places and there is no cast, no brace...nothing, she just has to lay, sit, rest and heal...Because if she is not careful she can make it worse and possibly need surgery....she is 19 years old, was supposed to start her first job that Thursday, had her college class finals that week and was to start her summer classes...needless to say....none of those things are done at the moment...Her hopes and plans are to become a pediatric nurse, so that she can help and be with bebes and children, to give them comfort and help them heal, these are her words....These plans are all on hold for now....as sad as this is....I don't mind....not one iota...Because after we saw the pictures of the car she was in, with the passenger side almost completely gone..we know how blessed we are that she is here to continue to love and cherish her and our lives with her....don't get me wrong, when this first happened and I saw my child looking so little, mangled, bruised, battered and broken, laying in her hospital bed...I felt such a tremendous amount of hate for that drunk driver that I actually got physically ill for a couple of days.....I lost 10 lbs in 4 days...I slept maybe 12 hours...I would smile while I was with her and panic each time she tried to move....but I didn't cry in front of her....no....there was enough time to cry when I was home alone....then I could fall apart....and I will tell you something....reading all your emails, comments and talking to so many of you on the phone...lifted my spirits like you wouldn't believe....

See.....the man that cause my daughters accident...well when it first happened, I wanted him, in pain, mangled...yes I will admit it as ugly as it is to say it, it is even worse to feel it, but I wanted him dead....then I thought about how we all felt seeing our lil Ashley in the hospital and seeing her in pain and then I started to think of how his family must be feeling, was he young, married, did he have kids.....all I knew was the fact that he was someone's child....and that his parents must be feeling such immense pain, heartbreak and anguish over their own child.....see, the officers that were investigating the accident.... came to see our daughter and told her, that the man that hit her would never be a problem again....see....turns out....after he almost killed our daughter and her boyfriend, he proceeded to flee the scene....only to lead police on a high speed chase that was televised on the news and as I would later find out, viewed by many that know us....but at that moment, no one knew our Ashley was involved....well he proceeded to lose control of his car and crashed it on the freeway...from what the officers said....he broke his neck and is paralyzed from the neck down.....Justice??? I don't know...I only know that I feel like it is such a stupid waste of life because had he just stayed....his own life would be so much different....I try to forgive and ask God to give me the strength to do so....but I won't lie...it is hard...hard because my daughter is recovering at her grandmas home.....not ours, we have a 2 story house...doesn't work well in the recovery of a broken pelvis....our lives are soo drastically altered at the moment that I hope and pray for things to return to normal soon...but honestly at the end of every day when I feel over whelmed and discombobulated ( love this word ;)
I remind myself that Ashley is can move around, it is limited but she can move, in time she will walk with out her walker, her crutches will be her main mode of transportation and the wheelchair will sit in storage one day when it is no longer needed...but the most wonderful thing of all is the KNOWING that our child will one day again...walk on her own and God-willing will run on the beach again...like she so loves to do and embrace the ocean waves that give her so much joy and laughter....laughter that I so miss hearing from her lately....

So now that I have updated everyone...I truly hope that you understand that if I don't make it personally to each of your blogs or email to let you know how much your thoughts and prayers have meant to us...it is only because at this moment, time isn't on our side....but I am hoping that with school being out this week and only having to go between our "2 households" I will have a lil more time to start visiting everyone again and leaving my comments...cause....well.....I know how much my opinion matters **wink** But know that I have when I can visited many of you, I just didn't leave a comment...sometimes there is just no time and other times, I am just so drained emotionally that I can't put my words into sentences that make sense...I hope you all understand and I am also hoping with this post...that
after this long self & life imposed hiatus...that I haven't been forgotten by our wonderful Blogland that we all love so much, because I promise....I haven't forgot you....I miss you all tons and tons :) Much love to you all my amores...and know that you all mean so much to me and my family and that your support and love has kept our hopes and hearts afloat!

Ashley
w/her cousin Alan
Dawn, Lisa, Rebecca, June, Lovey, Fairmaiden, your calls, emails and support...kept my head above water and kept me from the dispair, depression and fear of not being able to rise up once again from my knees...I thank you from my heart....because you listened, you gave me strength and you will never know just how much I held on to you for fear of drowning in dispair when I felt so alone and lost....I don't know how I will ever thank you all...love, love love you! Those that I didn't personally thank on here...please know it wasn't from forgetfulness, but because I would have to do a whole other post and right now...I am just so emotionally drained after doin this long assed post :) Much, much love to you all!!

One more thing....Kate...I am thinking and praying for you and your mami amor...I send you huge healing besos & hugs!! Anne, I am so thankful that all our prayers for you have been answered...I have tried so many times to call you amor, please call me anytime, I want to hear your beautiful voice...I think it would make my heart smile :) Thinking of you...Love you both :)

Until next time my dear friends....my amores......



34 comments:

rose said...

hi! i'm new to your blog. sorry to hear about your daughter's car accident. with prayers, god, and family and friends you and your family will find peach, strength, recovery from this situation. in 1991, my husband was killed at site in a terrible car accident. i had 3 months of recovery issue from injuries i had with this accident. the man who started this accident was a truck driver. i thought about hate, and punishment. i believe that if i hated i would have more difficulities going through this loss. i felt that this person would have to live with this the rest of his life.i didn't want to hate but felt pity. i will always wonder how this person is managing. i had 18 years with my husband, i concentrate on that blessing and went on to be able to handle my grief. my prayers and thoughts are with you ad your family. God Bless. rose

A Vintage Chic said...

Oh, Rose...I'm so sorry about all this! Your daughter will recover, I know--she's so surrounded by loving family and prayers...

My prayers and thoughts are with you, your family and especially your daughter...

With love,

Julie

Julia - "Vintage with Laces" said...

Dear sweet Rose, I was shocked when I learned about Ashleys accident on Dawn's blog. Ever since I've thought about Ashley, you and your whole family every day. I'm glad she's out of the hospital and can move a little bit. Hopefully she will fully recover soon and can walk without a walker or crutches.
You don't have to apologize for not visiting blogs or answering e-mails. Everybody understands that it's of course so much more important to take care of Ashley.
Sending big hugs and love to all of you,
Julia

Kim from The Sheep's Nest said...

Hello Sweet Rose, I have been away so long myself and to come back and hear of your daughter's accident, I just wanted to tell you I am here too, thinking about you. Stay positive. hugs,Kim

Diane said...

Rose, all of your thoughts and feelings are so understandable. How I admire your ability to speak your feelings so beautifully. What an awful time you've been through...but I sense something in your words...something that's holding you and your family together...LOVE...lots of love...and the blessing of having something that many people never get...an opportunity to appreciate one another and love even more because you know how fragile life is and you don't take it for granted. My family has been there through cancer...and believe me, it has those hidden blessings of love and connection and so many people live their lives without realizing how precious it all is.
Healing is wished for all of you...
Blessings,
Diane

Rebecca said...

Sweet Rose...

We will never forget you. Never.

As you tend to your family's needs know that we are thinking of you here in blogland and hoping and praying the recovery for your girl goes quickly. She will recover and one day your lives will all get back to where you dream for them to be.

I think you have a huge heart...to show any act of mercy or emotion for the man who hurt your child is beyond real love. Bless you.

Thinking, praying for you this very day.

Love to you~

Rebecca

Diva Kreszl said...

sweet Rose, I have been praying for all of you, knowing that this time is not one for blogging but must admit that I am so glad to hear from you! Not wanting to intrude or bother I have silently sat and prayed for all of you, wondering how things were going and hoping for an update...thank you for taking the time to fill us in. Please know that I continue to hold you in my prayers dear one.

Mary Ann Miller said...

Thank you for your update. I am thankful things are coming along. I know this is so hard on all of you to go through this. May each day be a little brighter for you!

Romeo said...

Oh Rose...thank you so VERY much for posting so that we might know where you are "at". No worries that you might be forgotten - certainly you are tired as there are so many who think the world of you. Your absence will not change that. Take your time, we will all wait. And while we wait, our prayers go out with you and your family in mind....

Hugs.

"Her" and Romeo

cityfarmer said...

Dear Heavenly Father
thank you for your grace and for sparing this childs'life.
Your will be done ...
your grace is sufficient ...
you planned the earth every single detail ... how could we not entrust our lives to YOU ...

thank you for my friend Rose ... and for all the kindred spirits who offer up prayers for this family ... bless them and keep them in the hollow of YOUR hand ...
keep her strong, and looking to YOU for that strength.
Pour out YOUR blessing and peace on this dear family ...
in the name of Jesus,
amen and amen

stefanie said...

I am so glad she is healing, and that you are hanging in there...about the drunk who hit your daughter, it was his choice to drink and drive, if he had stopped would he just drink and drive again? and maybe kill someone, maybe this is a way for him to think about his choices, and hopefully he will speak to people about what happens when you make the wrong choice! maybe he will help others choose not to drink and drive!

Sue said...

I couldn't imagine how this has effected your life. I admire you for understanding that the person that was driving drunk and did this to your daughter and her boyfriend must be in a pain too. That takes a lot of strength from within to see the other side. I'm hoping your daughter recovers very quickly, and something, somehow, comes out positive from this experience you have all been through. My prayers are with you!

Take care, Sue

Karen Valentine said...

Oh sweetheart, I am so glad to hear your bebe is on her way to recovery. I can't even image the stress your family is going through right now. I don't know why my eyes welled up with tears when I read about the fate of the man who did this to your daughter.
I understand your feelings toward him completely. I don't know if it was justice or just another horrible event caused by too much alcohol. In any case it was a tragedy for everyone involved. I'm glad you have family and friends to keep your head above water during this time. Please know that no matter how long you stay away from blogland, all your friends are here... ready to give you a lift up when you need it.
xoxo,
Karen

Collected Treasures...for the home, heart & soul said...

I am so very sorry about the tragic accident....if you are able to forgive the drunk driver, you have a better heart than I do. Stay strong and keep the faith.....God is with you and your family,.
xojana

Dorthe said...

Dearest Rose,
You and your daughter have been in my mind many,many times ,since hearing about this terrible accident. I have been thinking on you and your pain,not knowing how your daughter would recower,-and I`m so happy to read your post now, telling she is on her way back,to life.Thanks God for that.
You Rose are a most dear,sweet and strong woman,your letter written here shows that ,so much.
I wish your daughter and you with family every possible blessing for the future, and for a complete recovery for your daughter.
Hugs and love,-Dorthe

Victoria said...

Oh my gosh, I am so sorry for what you've been through but sooo glad that your daughter is going to make a full recovery. I have a 20 year old son and he drives home from work sometimes at midnight...it scares me and it's a mothers worst nightmare! When will drunk drivers learn and to flee the scene is just disgusting.

Thoughts are prayers are with you and your family and most of all, with your precious daughter...she's beautiful like her mommy:)

Draffin Bears said...

Dear sweet Rose,

You have been much on my thoughts and prayers, and I am really sorry I had not got around to emailing you.
Life seems to be busy over here.
So glad to hear that Ashley is out of hospital and recuperating at her Grandmothers.
It makes me so angry to hear how drunk drivers can do so much damage and hurt to a family.
My thoughts and prayers are with you, and your family and dear Ashley.
I hope that all will go well for her, and may her recovery be speedy.
Sending my love and hugs to you dear friend.

Hugs
Carolyn

June said...

Oh sweetie, it is wonderful to read your post tonight. I know how draining it must have been, but know that you are so precious to us and we are so grateful to read your words. it is always good therapy to talk it all out. All your feelings are normal and I just pray that you don't let yourself get too worn out. Yo are such a dear friend and I am so thankful for you, darling girl. Give that beautiful Ashley my love and a gentle hug.
hugs and kisses

Tarnished and Tarnished said...

I love you sweet friend. I'm grateful to God for watching out over my friends, you & Ashley & my sweet Ann! It could have been soooo much worse. Ashley indeed had a guardian angel with her that night, I know it. The wreck being as bad as it was could have been beyond heartbreaking. I know these weeks have been so hard on you & Chris, your doing such a great job taking care of EVERYONE which is what you do always. You inspire me Rose, your such a caring person, such a nurturer to all, especially your Bebe's. Did I spell that right? LOL You have to read my comment on Dawn's blog today, you'll laugh. I miss talking to you, between my crazy month & your family stuff we've fallen behind on our 'chats'. Even Kevin mentioned something when the cell phone bill came & I didn't have a million calls to you. Well, the length of this comment is my tribute to you, do a word count. Signed, 'the boss of you'

T's Daily Treasures said...

Dearest Rose, so glad to hear that Ashley is healing by the grace of God and the nurturing of such loving family and friends. You indeed are blessed and I've thought of you every day when I would scroll through my blog list, hoping and praying all is well and that you are hanging in there as you always do. Your posts are always filled with honesty, words spoken from your heart. Best wishes to you all as you continue down the road of recovery. Accidents like this touch everyone in the family and whether it is emotional or physical healing, it all takes time. Best wishes and God Bless you all, Tammy

Debra@Common Ground said...

Hi Rose, I'm so glad you've posted. I've thought about you and your family every day since I heard about your daughter's injury. Prayers are being answered. Life is unpredictable at times. Sometimes we get things we would not have chosen, but I know God is good and I'm praying and believing for your daughter's complete recovery.
much love,
Debra

Lovey said...

Oh how I love my Rose! Hiya Sweetness! I am Soooo happy to see you here again! I am blessed to know that your sweet daughter Ashley is healing. There is no greater love than God's Love and His Grace is sufficient for all things! You are so in my heart as is your family. You know I'm here for you...and By His GRACE She is Healed!

Lori said...

Rose, i hope your daughter is healing well after the tragic accident...i think i would feel the same way as you if anyone did anything to hurt or injure one of my sons...that's the mama bear instinct...to protect our babies no matter how old they are...thanks for stopping over to visit me...that dolly in my shop is actually a red head, not sure why it photographed looking so blond...i hope you and your family have a wonderful weekend!!!

Rose ~Victorian Rose ~ said...

Rose....it is indeed GOOD to have you back posting.

As a mother I copletely understand how you are worn to a frazzle. But please be sure to get all the REST you can to be able to stay well and not to worry your duaghter.... about YOUR helath as well as hers.
SO happy she is healing, I know her physical pain must be overwhelming at times. I know all too well how hard it is for we mother's to stand by helpless to do much of anything about it.

Your life and hers are on hold for right now...but in the weeks and months to come, things will change for the better.
GOD is healing her and will give you strenght too...to deal with all of this.
She is young, she will be fine...remember, she has youth on her side.

GOD BLESS HER GRANDMOTHER for being her caregiver...I pray for her as well.

Love you Rose...and feel so deeply in my heart for your anguish and suffering on her behalf.

But PLEASE be sure to take care of yourself ..don't forget that.

Thank you for taking your precious time to drop by and visit me.
Have been behind on my blogging...so forgive me as well.

Rose
VictorianRose

Rebecca said...

Hi Sweetie
So glad you posted!!! I miss hearing from you but you are always in my thoughts and I am praying for you and your family. I pray strength and peace to you in the wonderful name of our Jesus.
I have really a lot going on right now, I will email you later.
So glad to have you in my life
Blessings
Rebecca

Beatnheart said...

My darling, I did not know what happened. I am speechless and for me that is something. I am so sorry for all that has happened, but your girl is alive and looks like she will recover...thank God..The boy that hurt her...unbelievable....Rose, you are in my thoughts please take care of yourself...Believe that all will be well. Cynthia

Jodie (everything vintage) said...

My gosh Rose,
It's a beautiful sight to my eyes to see you back here with good news that Ashley is on the road to recovery :)
Please take care of yourself too...that is very important!
Take all the time you need for your family and yourself. We will be here on sidelines, praying and waiting for you :)))

Andrea - Faded Plains said...

Oh Rose...I'm so sorry to here about your daughter...it seems she had some angels on her side that day...and I think she has an angel(that's you) at her side now. Sending lots of prayers and well wishes her way...take care.

xoxo,Andrea

fairmaiden said...

Sweetest, dearest, treasured Rose,

NOw you've gone and made me cry. Just reading it here, the entire story of what happened, makes me cry. And your beautiful, thankful heart makes me cry. I can't imagine what you are going through, but I can reach out and be your friend. Please know that you can call me anytime (even middle of the night)...if you are down and lost call. You can cry, scream, laugh, talk...I will listen. When my oldest son was hit by a car at age 14, it was terrifying...he was on his bike crossing the entrance of a grocery store and a car hit him. Everyone who witnessed it said the driver did not even stop or look for pedestrians and that he was lucky to be alive. It took a month till he could walk again. But it is nothing compared to what you are going through. So that is why I can't imagine. I am sooooo thankful Ashley will recover. Soooooo thankful she is alive and will splash in the ocean waves again one day. I love you dear friend...you are never alone. Keep giving your heart where it is needed. We here in Blogland will all still be here whenever you return. ox~ Fairmaiden

Michelle Palmer said...

Your heart is so tender and honest~
Wishing continued healing and rest :)
LOVE the photo you shared~ looking forward to the next photo... her running on the beach again!
Giant hugs and many more prayers~
Lots of love,
Michelle

Roberta said...

I'm so grateful that she is now healing and pray for her full recovery. And for peace and faith for you dearest Eose. Prayer is so powerful! xo

Denise said...

It is so wonderful to know that your daughter will, eventually, be whole again. It must be horrible for you as a mother to watch what she is going through. God understands your anger and frustration and he will always be there for you, and for your family through this horrible ordeal. Hang in there! And YES! Your opinion does indeed matter. Very much. I have missed seeing your smiling face and sweet comments all over blogland. Take your time, heal, and we will all be here waiting for your smile to return! Here's hoping that each week continues to bring positive changes!

oldgreymare said...

Rose,

I have seen you many times commenting on June's blog and remember her mentioning the accident. I wandered in here this evening and tearfully read your post to your Dad. Mine is 10 years gone and I feel the loss every day.

I was relieved to hear that your Daughter although severely injured, will recover and horrified to hear the details.

I have a song that changed my life during a very difficult time and although a lot of the song does not apply to your present heartbreak a few lines do..

"I used to hold the anger in my stomach like a fist
but in time it was quite clear, only I was suffering here...and having gratitude was my out of here.

it's not about taking, it's all about giving and
sometimes what we want is staring us
right in the face
the power of forgiveness; the power of grace"

Until I learned to forgive there was no peace. Forgiving the unforgivable is life's biggest challenge.

With so many people loving and caring for you and your family I hope that you will soon be blessed with the power of grace.

Sadness and loss and fear piled upon you in such rapid time will knock the wind out of you, so as your friends above say to you...

we're here, we're waiting and ready for you when you are. Take care of yourself and your family.

Blessings,

Suzan

Carole~Maynard Greenhouse said...

Oh Rose I hadn't heard until just now about your daughters accident. I just thought you were taking a little blog break. I know she is being well taken care of....you are such a sweet and caring person.
Reading your tribute to your dad was so tearful I had to walk away to compose myself....it went right to my heart. .....you sure can make a girl cry...lol
Beautifully written!
xxx
Carole